The Literary Loft by Author Monica Marie Jones

December 27, 2008

My Kwanzaa Gift to You: A Big Fat Juicy Excerpt from FLOSS!

Filed under: Book Talk — monicamariejones @ 2:36 am
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FLOSS by Monica Marie Jones

FLOSS by Monica Marie Jones

Prologue

 

Jabez

Jabez was certain that he had been blessed with the gift of discernment, but sometimes he wasn’t sure whether it was really a gift, or if it was a curse. With this gift Jabez could look at people beyond face value and tell what they were really about deep down.

His gift kicked in as he watched the scantily clad women in denim miniskirts and bikini tops walk past him on Ocean Drive in South Beach. He mentally created a bio for each one of them. After attending Urban Beach Week in Miami for the first time two years ago, they’d decided to make the trip the traditional yearly get away for the fellas during Memorial Day Weekend… in memory of how much fun they’d had the first time. 

While everyone else in the crew slept in after a night of partying hard at SoBe Live Nightclub, Jabez elected to rise early to take in the scenery which consisted of an array of women spanning from mediocre to exotic. He was quite pleased to see that the spectrum was much heavier on the exotic side. As amazing as they all appeared to be, none of them intrigued him more than the woman who had his attention at the moment. His mind drifted to thoughts of her.

Her name was Dionysus. The name was fitting. She was named after a male Greek God, and while there was no mistaking that she was all woman, she thought and acted like a guy. They had been involved for a few months now, but from the beginning he’d had her all figured out. She was extremely gorgeous but to the world around her she appeared to be a high maintenance, money hungry, manipulator. These titles did ring true when it came to her actions, but Jabez could tell that beneath the surface that she had a good heart and that her ways stemmed from some deeper issues.

“What are you drinking on?” Asked a sun kissed sister who had invited herself to sit on the empty wicker barstool next to him.

“Vodka and Cranberry,” He said in a tone laced with an underlying message that nonverbally asked, Why? Are you buying?

He wouldn’t be surprised if she did buy his drink. She was clearly pressed. He knew this because she had been watching him for the longest and doing all of the little things that women do to make sure that they get noticed. Things like walking by with a slow and deliberate swagger to make sure that he saw her ample behind in shorts that were two sizes too small.

“Really? That’s my favorite drink!” She hesitated, obviously waiting and hoping that he would never allow a lady to buy his drink, but that he would instead graciously pick up the tab for both of them. If she had she been sincere, he would have done just that, but she was trying to be slick.

“Thanks for sharing.” He said in a voice dripping with syrupy sincerity before turning back to his favorite past time of people watching. He laughed to himself at the thought of how stupid she must be sitting there looking. What he really wanted to say was, Baby, I am from Detroit, so you are really going to have to step your game up if you want something from me. Poor girl. He would have felt sorry for her, but he knew that the fact that she couldn’t have him just made her want him that much more.

Women. So complicated, yet so simple. He had traveled the world and experienced women of every color, and for the most part, they were all basically the same. But there was one thing he knew for sure. Detroit women were in a class of their own.

Take Dionysus’ cousin, Torah for example. She was just as materialistic as Dionysus but people also had her pegged as an airhead and a freak. What they didn’t realize was that she was far smarter than what people thought. She was one of those people to watch out for because while folks thought that things were going over her head, she was actually absorbing it all like a sponge. On countless occasions Jabez had witnessed her observing, listening and taking in everything around her.

For a moment, he wished that Dionysus was there with him in South Beach so that he could tell her about this silly broad. He glanced over and saw that she was still sitting there plotting her next attempt at getting and keeping his attention. If Dionysus were here, she would have saved him from this unsavory situation while still giving him the freedom to pursue other women as much as he pleased. He would give her the same space. That was one of the many things he appreciated about what they had. It was an unspoken understanding.

Jabez and Dionysus were very open and honest with one another so she was aware of and informed about the other women that he dated as was he about the men that she dated. This was due to the fact that even though they were not boyfriend and girlfriend they knew that they held the top spot in each other’s lives.

Whether she knew it or not, she was what he considered his “Main.” This meant that she was his main girl of the many that he dealt with. It was a situation that was any man’s dream. They would often sit back and crack jokes about their respective suitors and how dense they all were. The most idiotic one in her roster was a guy named Tyse.

Tyse was a younger cat that had many people fooled into believing that he was a lot more important than he really was. When Dionysus told Jabez about Tyse, she initially believed the game that he ran on her to be true, but what she told him just didn’t add up so Jabez knew from the start that this guy was full of himself. He just hoped that her instincts would kick in soon enough to figure out what this Tyse character was really about before he made a fool out of her.

Tyse wasn’t too different from his boy Solomon. Solomon wasn’t as far gone as to pretend that he was someone he was not, which appeared to be the case with Tyse, but he went out of his way to keep up appearances. Maybe he could pass this bothersome girl off to Solomon once he woke up. Just the mere fact that she had shown interest in Jabez would make Sol want to try his hand at getting with her. He was that type of guy.

It was clear that wherever she was from, she was used to getting attention. Perhaps the one out of her clique that got the most attention. She had obviously handpicked Jabez to be her sponsor for the weekend, but he was not accepting the position. Solomon, on the other hand would gladly blow all of his money on a big butt and a smile.

Solomon worked hard at trying to impress others by having the best of everything whether he could really afford it or not. He had no problem with living beyond his means. His main concerns were trying to keep up with Jabez and trying to compete with their other friend since childhood named Abel.

Abel was a hard act to follow because he had a lot going for himself. He had achieved success in the areas of education, business, women, and everything else that a man measures his worth by with half of the effort. To top it all off, he was an all around good guy with a great personality and a giving spirit; so it was really hard to hate him for all that he had. He was one of those guys that you couldn’t help but be happy for.

Jabez had them all figured out, himself included. He knew that he had a lot handed to him by his wealthy parents, but he also knew that it took hard work to keep it and get more. Unfortunately he was also aware that no matter how much you have, or how hard you work to keep it, things can still be snatched away from you in an instant. 

He worked hard so he played hard. Like everyone else, he wanted a taste of the finer things in life and he wanted the world to know that he knew what the flavor was. For that very reason Jabez, Dionysus, Torah, Tyse, Solomon and Abel all had one love in common. They all lived and loved to FLOSS.


 


CHAPTER 1

 

Dionysus

Since Jabez, the one she really wanted to be with, wasn’t available, she took Tyse up on his offer. They’d agreed to meet at his place at 7pm and from there they would ride to the restaurant together. In order to get her out of the broken nail induced slump that she had been in, Dionysus decided to get all dolled up. She put on a fresh pair of low-rise, fitted stretch denim jeans over her favorite thong and a tight blazer that was designed like a bustier over her matching padded push up bra from Victoria’s Secret.

The jacket, fastened with shiny silver clasps down the front, streamlined her waist that was already small to begin with. It was open at the bottom so it showed off her flat stomach adorned with a sparkling navel ring. After putting a few loose and messy curls in her thick hair she applied her false eyelashes, coal eyeliner and some clear Mac Lip Glass. She finished the job by spraying her entire body with Sweet Temptations body spray and stepping into her black leather stiletto pumps. She was well aware that Tyse took pride in using her as his show piece so she played right into the role. It was well worth all of the money that he spent on her.

When she was done primping she glanced at the clock and was stunned to realize that it was 7:15pm and she had not heard from Tyse yet. She grabbed her keys, purse and a leather jacket and headed for her car, a brand new SUV that was a gift from a smitten fan of hers that she hadn’t even so much as allowed to sniff her goods.

He paid the car note on time, every month, like clockwork by simply depositing the amount into her Pay Pal account online. All she had to do was post one of her sexy modeling photos on the computer for him to look at while he masturbated. His only request was that she watch him do it on his webcam while typing an occasional sexy sentence every now and then on Instant Messenger. She never even had to turn on her web video camera. The picture, a shot of her in a bikini from the back looking over her shoulder seductively at the camera, was enough to do it for him.

He was old, overweight and disgusting to her, so she never really looked at the cam unless she and her cousin wanted a good laugh. It was an easy way to ride in style with little effort. It also helped that he lived in Atlanta, and as far as he knew, she lived in L.A. so she never had to run the risk of running into him on the streets.

  Once inside of the truck she popped in an old school Teena Marie CD then called Tyse and began to get perturbed when she got his voice mail.

“Hey Tyse, its Di, I am heading your way, call me and let me know what’s up. If I don’t hear from you by the time I get in your area don’t bother calling, as a matter of fact I will be gracious and give you until 8pm.” Click.

She didn’t have time for more of his games. Granted she did have a good time when she went out with him but the games had far outweighed the good times. He was lots of fun, not so much because he had a great personality, but because he pulled all of the stops to make sure that she was having an enjoyable experience.

For Di, the basic requirements of an enjoyable experience included having all of the men drooling and all of the women jealous wherever she went. This was always the case when she went out with Tyse because he was extremely flashy and loved the attention just as much if not more than she did.

His looks were decent so aside from the fact that he was three inches shorter than her, his presence was tolerable. Besides, good looks were not necessarily a requirement to win Di’s time. For her, it was more about how the bankroll was looking.

So, even more important than the fun and the looks was the fact that he spent lots of money on her, but his inconsistency was beginning to become an annoyance.

She did not appreciate getting stood up. Who did he think he was? Did he realize how many men would have loved to spend this time with her? As she neared his street she had come to the conclusion that she was indeed being stood up. She passed right by his street because she would never stoop to the level of being pressed enough to drive by his house.

One of the few things that her mother taught her, that actually made sense, was never to pop up over anyone’s house uninvited or without calling first. Not only was it rude to the person receiving the surprise visit, but the surprise visitor has now left him or herself open to getting the same type of unpleasant surprise as well. A surprise such as realizing that they are being played because the person that they are visiting is already entertaining company.

It also opened up room for the false notion that they had the right to do the same thing and there was no way she was relinquishing her right to uninterrupted privacy. She stood by these beliefs firmly and it went both ways. All of her men knew that if they ever popped up over her place unannounced they would get thoroughly cussed out and quickly dropped.

She started to turn around, go back home and continue watching her Sex in the City DVD, but then she decided that she would treat herself to dinner. She was already looking good and she was not about to waste this cute outfit, hairdo, and fresh set of false eyelashes on a night at home alone. She was also motivated by the fact that there were always a ton of fine single men with lots of money at The Good Times Grill on Friday nights.

When she got there the place was packed. She took a moment to admire her favorite work of art, The Good Times Mural with all of the exaggeratedly curvaceous women and their male counterparts having a funky good time on the dance floor. It was mounted at the entrance of the restaurant and surrounded by soft accent lighting. She took a deep breath and rotated her neck to release the unnecessary frustration and tension that Tyse had caused.

After running her fingers through her freshly pressed mane, she held her head up high and strutted through the crowd with a walk that she knew would turn every head that she passed. As she made her way through the narrow walkway near the bar she made it a point to “accidentally” brush her chest and behind up against every fine man whose path she crossed, being sure to place a dainty hand someplace on their body accompanied by a coy yet innocent, “Oh, excuse me.” She knew exactly what she was doing. She left every single man that she passed with something to think about.

Even the women couldn’t help but stare. The secure ones looked on in awe of her undeniable beauty and the ones with low self-esteem might as well have been wearing green contact lenses to match their envious glares. Those who where with their men either held them a little tighter or looked at them to see if they were looking at her. They were looking, and those who weren’t just happened to be seated with their back to the door so they hadn’t seen her yet. She would make sure to make a special trip to the bathroom so they would get a chance to see what all of the fuss was about.

She found a single chair to squeeze into at the bar between an older man and two girlfriends who were cackling and chatting away. She would have preferred to be surrounded by men but since this was the only seat open, it would have to do. She needed to be seated where the action was. A seat at a table or booth would not suffice. She had to be strategically placed where she could see and be seen.

She loved attention. She would have gotten it even if she was seated in a dark corner by the kitchen, but why not make it easy and obvious by situating herself in the place where she belonged…the center of attention.

 As she waited for the bartender to acknowledge her presence she acted as if she was thoroughly engaged in the Piston’s basketball game that was showing on one of the many TV screens mounted above the bar. As she did this she felt the stares from around the room of men who were admiring her and wondering if she could really possibly be there alone.

For a brief moment she took her eyes away from the TV screen to scan the room. As she looked from face to face she made eye contact with several men who looked as if they wanted more. She made sure to linger a little on each one, batting her extended lashes, to give them the notion that they might have a chance with her.

Her visual flirting frenzy was interrupted when the bartender came to her and said,

“Hey sweetheart, my man over there in the Lions football jersey wants to know what you are drinking.” As the bartender awaited her response he gazed at her with a perceptive glance that let her know that he was well aware of all of the attention she had been getting.

“Chardonnay please.” She told him without hesitation.

“But only if it is a bottle that has been opened this evening.”

She didn’t want a bottle that was flat and flavorless because it had been opened days before. She smiled and made it a point to give him the same flirtatious eye contact that she had given the rest of the men in the room that were checking her out. He smiled as he turned away from the corked bottle that he was about to serve her from and reached into the wine refrigerator below the bar to open a fresh bottle for her. She winked to show her gratitude.

She wanted to make sure to play all of her cards right and keep all of her options open. During their brief dialogue she had taken note of the way the muscles that went from his neck to his shoulders were bulging beneath his polo styled work shirt. She had concluded that he was quite sexy indeed despite the fact that she knew that on a bartender’s salary he could never support the lifestyle she was accustomed to. She had to admit that she might be able to overlook his meager earnings because he could be useful in other ways…the bedroom in particular.

She knew from experience that men with money were not always guaranteed to have great sex. More often than not they used their money and material possessions to compensate for what they were lacking in the physical relations department, so she kept a few good men on the side to meet her needs. As long as they did not get attached, they were a welcomed treat. If she could find a man that had it going on in the bedroom and at the bank he might mess around and have her strung out!

            She gave the man in the jersey a quick once over, even though she really didn’t care much about what anyone who wanted to buy her a drink looked like. She could always just take the drink and leave it at that. He was tall, with cashew colored skin, raw, not roasted, and cute enough, although she preferred chocolate over vanilla any day. She gave him a sultry smile to non-verbally thank him for the drink, which he mistakenly took as an invitation to come over and talk with her.

            He made his way around the crowded bar over to the side where she was sitting. When he got close enough to her he put his arm on the bar between her and the people to her left dividing her from half of the bar. He territorially hovered over her whispering closely in her ear.

“How are you doing sweetheart?”

She was all too familiar with this behavior. He was putting the claim down on her. Men often did this to her when she was in a situation like the present one where most of the guys in the room were vying for her attention. The ones who were bold enough to approach her usually made some gesture to let the other guys in the room know that he had reigned victorious and claimed the treasure that everyone was out to get.

 Whether they hovered over her, held her hand, or wrapped an arm around her shoulder she was equally irritated by all of the signals. Even worse was the arm around the waist or the hand at the small of her back that would always predictably slide a little too close to her behind.  She only wanted to appear to be hemmed up if it was by her own choice, not by some buster who needed an ego boost.

            She inconspicuously backed away from him as far as she could without sitting in the lap of the older guy next to her. When she could not possibly move any farther she reared her head and neck back making it clear to him how important her personal space was to her. Unlike most dudes he got the picture and backed up a bit.

“Check this out, my name is Solomon and I’m about to get up out of here to go and check out this cabaret. I saw you over here looking real nice and I was just wondering if I could take you to brunch at Sweet Georgia Brown’s tomorrow?” The sound of Sweet Georgia Brown’s rang in her ear like gold coins being shifted in a treasure chest. She knew that a man who could take her to eat at a place like that had to have some money.

She flashed her sexy smile and grazed her hand over the surface of his belt until she reached his phone case. She slid the phone out, programmed her name and number in, and replaced it in under two minutes flat. She chose to do it this way for two reasons. First, she knew that suggestively tracing his belt the way that she did would turn him on and leave him with something to think about. Second, she programmed her number in his phone below the bar so that it was out of sight of any other suitors that approached her with desirable offers that night. Dionysus was always on top of her game.

            After he left it was like he’d caused a domino effect because glass after glass of Chardonnay began to be sent over to her by several men around the room. The sexy bartender even slid her a glass, on the house, making sure that she knew it was from him. After her sixth glass she was beginning to feel really good. The normal woman her size would have been wasted after the second glass, but she drank everyday so she had built up quite the tolerance.

She was laughing, talking and mingling without even having to leave her seat at the bar. It was as if men were lined up and patiently waiting their turn to entertain her. As one would leave another would approach soon after.

 At the peak of her enjoyment, who else but Tyse, came strolling in, headed her way. She quickly glanced at the digital time display on her cell phone and took note that he was two hours, 37 minutes and 56 seconds late. He was about to get a rude awakening because no one played her like that without feeling her wrath.

He came prancing over like nothing had ever happened, just like it was still 8pm and their date was just beginning. He took note of all of the drinks and empty glasses in front of her as well as all of the attention that she was getting from the guys. Once he took in the entire scene he decided that he was about to put the claim down on her really heavy. He wrapped both arms around her from the back, constricting her arms and putting her in a position of powerlessness that she absolutely abhorred.

He then began kissing on her face and her neck. At this point she was buzzing so hard that she didn’t attempt to be inconspicuous or elegant about her behavior. He was not about to come up in here and mess up the good vibe that she had going after standing her up.

She yanked her body away from him like the saliva from his kisses was acid burning her face. She did it so abruptly and thoroughly that she knocked over one of her glasses of wine and spilled it on the person next to her. Luckily the two girls that were sitting there were gone or there might have been a fight. In their place were two guys in their late thirties.

            She turned to the man that was wearing her wine and began apologizing profusely while simultaneously taking in his looks, clothing and watch. Instantly she made the decision that she would use him to complete her task of letting Tyse have it. Completely turning her back on Tyse she gave her undivided attention to the man that she had spilled her drink on.

“Ooh baby, I am soooo sorry. Here let me get that for you.” She said while gingerly wiping every drop of wine from her new pawn’s clothing with a napkin. She spent a little extra time tending to his lap and crotch area for good measure.  He seemed to be quite satisfied with the fact that this beautiful young thang was touching him all over. He responded by saying,

 “Its cool sugar, let me buy you another drink, what was that you were drinking on?”

She sensed Tyse’s presence and could have sworn she felt the heat from his rising anger on the back of her neck. Without turning around she knew that he was still right behind her so she decided to lay it on even more thickly. 

“I was drinking on Chardonnay, but I feel so bad. You are looking all nice and I had to go and mess that up. Let me make it up to you. I can pay for your dry cleaning or something. As a matter of fact, here, take my number and you can call me and let me know what I can do to make it up to you.” She said laced with a taste of flirtation and a pinch of seduction. She winked at him to seal the deal. Checkmate!

            This time there was no mistaking it. She could really feel the heat from Tyse and knew that he was seething because she had given another man her number right in his face. Even though he was sitting down she could tell that the man she was flirting with was well over six feet tall. He spoke to her with a confidence that made it seem as if Tyse didn’t even exist. With his 5’5 frame devoid of any substantial muscle tone Tyse was no match for this older man.

He walked away with his head down but that did not stop her from seeing the anger and defeat in his eyes. He stood on the other side of the room and stared at her like a wounded puppy dog that had just lost a fight with a pit bull. She looked at him with a sly smile and a devilish glare and said out loud to no one in particular,

“Cross my path, and you WILL feel my wrath.”

 

 

 

GET YOUR COPY AT http://www.monicamariejones.com to read the rest!

December 1, 2008

Stigma: Mental Health in The African American Community

Filed under: Daily Reflections — monicamariejones @ 5:29 am
Tags: , , , ,

Author Monica Marie JonesToday I saw a special on television about Phyllis Hyman.  The same was the case when I saw the Dorothy Dandridge Documentary.  I saw so much of them in me.  Beautiful, Successful…in the eyes of others, they seemed to have it all.  But you never know what is going on with someone on the inside.  There are always a select few outsiders that can tell, but not enough to advocate for an intervention. 

 

Even as I write this, its hard to put it out there, but I made a promise to myself and God that I would use my testimony to minister to others. 

This year, I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. Although the diagnosis was just made this year, I knew deep down in my heart that this is something that I have lived with and been suffering from for years.  And sad to say, even though I had gone to school for social work and studied how to help others with mental illness, I took me years to seek help for myself.

A lot of it boiled down to my tendency to put everyone else first, leaving myself no other place to be but last.  Even though I wore a smile and displayed an addictive personality, I suffered from low self esteem and didn’t seem to know how to use the word NO.

Now I am on the road to recovery.  I am re-learning how to love myself, something that I lost sight of as a small child.  As a result of my efforts to heal, I see life in a whole new way.  One of the therapists that I worked with had a great example…

He explained that as a child, he suffered from migraines for years.  One day, he had a vision test where he was given a prescription for glasses.  Not only did the migraines go away, but he had gotten so used to seeing the world in such a dull way, that he thought that that was all there was to it.  He had no idea that the sky was such a vibrant blue, and the grass was such a rich green.

That is how life is once you seek treatment for mental illness.  For many medication is the way, but after much research and soul searching I decided to take a more holistic approach.

I have made it a point to get more sunshine, more exercise, more prayer, and take vitamins that aid in brain function and energy (B complex, omega 3 fatty acid, etc.).  I also make self-care a priority and constantly check in with myself to process my feelings and emotions by journaling and communicating with others. 

Its not easy, but its lovely.  I am getting to know and love myself and I am enjoying every moment of it to the fullest!  This is the first blog that I have dedicated to mental health, but it is not the last.  Stay tuned as I document my journey!

Most Sincerely,

Monica Marie Jones

Author

www.monicamariejones.com

 

November 19, 2008

On Tuesday…(The Remix of My Poem about Barack Obama)

Filed under: Poetry — monicamariejones @ 5:37 am
Tags: , , ,
President Elect Barack Obama

President Elect Barack Obama

I was in the lobby of a local radio station waiting to be interviewed when I was given the challenge of writing a poem about the election.  I wrote it in about 5 minutes.

Today, I saw a post saying that there was going to be a commemorative book about the election created that was looking for poetry submissions.  I submitted my poem and they loved it, but because the book is going to be so big, they asked if I could make the poem longer….so here is the remix of the initial poem that I wrote.

 

 

On Tuesday…
 

 

I knew I could do anything
But now it’s been confirmed
A man who looks like me
Moved the masses with his words

 
Integrity and Dignity fueled the great campaign

His victory made history by going against the grain

It freed the souls of activists that have senselessly been slain

And gives assurance that our forefathers did not fight in vain

Jesse Jackson cried
A campaign worker died
Oprah looked on with pride
People voted for their first, and what might be their last time

 

 

The polls drew generations, ages eighteen to one-hundred plus

From the hip hop era all the way back to Rosa’s bus

A bridge has been built based upon hope and trust

That the one who leads our nation will represent us

 

I knew I could do anything
But now it’s been confirmed
A man who looks like me motivated people to take an active role
and change our wounded world.

 

On that Tuesday

I heard the news say

It was a new day

While some may naysay

I know there’s no way

That they can downplay

The price we’ve had to pay

Yes We Can

Yes We Did

Yes We Will

Make a way

 

Monica Marie Jones, M.S.W

Author and Motivational Speaker
 

www.monicamariejones.com

November 18, 2008

My Next Novel…SWAG

Filed under: Book Talk — monicamariejones @ 2:36 am

SWAGI’m working on several new novels at the same time, but one in particular keeps pulling on my heart strings.  It it is a novel called SWAG that I am challenging myself to release by March of 2009 just in time to take copies to the Wagfest Literary Event in Seattle, WA.

Today I took a stab at writing the synopsis, but right now it sounds more like a review.  Here is what I have come up with.

Noelle stepped out on faith and left her full time job to pursue her passion of singing full time.  Now six months have passed and other than a gig at a night club or wedding here and there, her singing career hasn’t gone much of anywhere.

She spends most of her time sitting up under her charismatic, yet sneaky boyfriend, Jonah, like a loyal and faithful puppy.  Although there is no doubt that Jonah loves her, his love for women in general far outweighs his desire to give her the proposal of marriage that she wants so badly.

After Jonah uses her hopes of an engagement to manipulate a situation so that it will work in his favor, Noelle gets fed up and decides to move forward with her career…with or without Jonah.

This unfortunate turn of events prompts Noelle to take advantage of an offer that would have been impossible for anyone in their right mind to refuse, but as usual, she put the needs of Jonah before her own and had considered declining.  His reluctance to propose pushed her to accept the invitation to be a house guest on the popular, hit reality show, House of Swag.  On the show aspiring entertainers with the potential to take it to the next level are trained to become multifaceted mega stars.

While in the house she catches the eye of the shows creator, Monroe “Paper” Chase.  He uses his good looks and smooth talk to charm her, then he uses his money and power to attempt to subtract Jonah from the equation.  She is faced with another challenge when the attention that she gets from Monroe sparks envy in other house guests who are not beyond trying to bring her down to get ahead.

As Noelle rises toward super stardom she has some difficult choices to make.   What lies ahead of her looks so much better that what she has left behind.  Will she work to keep the love that she and Jonah shares alive, or will she choose fame, fortune and a man who can make all of her dreams come true?

November 17, 2008

Independent Bookstores

Filed under: Daily Reflections — monicamariejones @ 4:57 am
Author Monica Marie Jones at Da Book Joint in Chicago, IL

Author Monica Marie Jones at Da Book Joint in Chicago, IL

I remember the first day of school in either kindergarten or the 1st grade when the teacher asked, “Who knows how to read?”  I promptly raised my hand and then looked around to see all of the other children because I was certain that reading was common place.  I was shocked to see that I was the only one.

She asked me to come up and read a book that she had.  I not only read it aloud for the entire class, but I also inserted the proper pregnant pauses when I came to periods and the exaggerated excitement when I came to exclamation marks.

As I’m sure you can gather by now, I have ALWAYS loved to read.  Books were my escape from the harsh realities of everyday life.  If my world seemed unbearable, then I could delve into the world of the characters in a book and be an invisible, innocent bystander.

I never quite understood the other side the book world until recently when I became an author myself.

There are so many aspects that I could discuss, but today I am going to focus on independent bookstores since I just came back from doing signings as a couple of them on my book tour.

Last month I attended the Great Lakes Book Sellers Association Convention.  It was there that I realized how hard it is for independent bookstores.  I knew that they had competition when it came to the major booksellers like Borders and Barnes and Nobles, but I never realized how much of a monopoly that Amazon had on the market.

Several independent bookstores are suffering and struggling to stay afloat.  Some of the more unfortunate ones have already gone out of business. 

At the beginning of my book tour I wondered if doing signings at bookstores was really worth the time, effort and money that I put into them. I would only sell a few books at each one.   I considered finding a different route to sell my books.  But after spending some time with the owners, and really learning what the real deal was, I decided that I am going to make it a part of my life’s mission to support independent bookstores by any means necessary.

With that said, I will see you soon, at an independent bookstore near you!

November 16, 2008

Chicago!

Filed under: Daily Reflections — monicamariejones @ 8:09 am

Today was a splendid day.  It began bright and early with a radio interview at WKKC on the Focus Talk with Dennis Snipe Radio Show.  From there we went to Lincoln Mall in Matteson, IL.  While there I had my first experience of getting my eyebrows threaded!  I had seen it on TV but I’ve never known of an actual place where I could go and get it done.  It is an amazing technique where you get your eyebrows arched using thread. You would have to see it to understand it, and I am far too sleepy to describe it for you in a clear way right now.

After getting a whole new workout clothes wardrobe made up of clearance rack items at Old Navy I got ready for my first book signing at Azizi Books.  The traffic was light but it felt so great to be supporting an independent book store.

From there we headed straight to Da Book Joint in Chicago.  It had a nice homey feel and I was surrounded by the owner and her family which gave it all a very welcoming touch.  My book signing was scheduled to end at eight, but we ended up staying there until midnight swapping Chicago style dances for Detroit Style dances and having an overall funky good time.

When I come to Chicago, I usually do all of the tourist attraction type stuff….but this time I felt like I saw another side of my birthplace.  Since I left here and moved to Detroit at the age of two, I never really experienced the city like I could have. 

For the first time in all of the years that I have come to visit, Chi town felt a little bit like hoAzizi Books Book Signing Posterme.

P.S. I think I want to open a bookstore :)

November 15, 2008

Oh Happy Day!

Filed under: Daily Reflections — monicamariejones @ 5:23 am

Sea ScapeI usually try to have a focus, theme or message in my blogs, but today I simply have to rant about how wonderful my day was.  It started off when I woke up early to do an interview on a radio show in Chicago. (The Jumpoff Morning Show with Trey the Choklit Jok on Power 92 Chicago).  It went extremely well and the hosts were intrigued by the way that I described my books. 

As I waited for the recorded interview to air I jumped on the elliptical and worked out on it for forty minutes going on pure adrenaline.  The time was over before I even realized it.  Then my boyfriend called me with a Carnival Cruise Line salesman on the three way and booked a cruise for us for next month right on the spot.  It is an eight day Western Caribbean Cruise that goes to Panama, Costa Rica…and the best part…Belize! 

Belize is the best part because that is were my Dad is from and that is were he lives now.  It is even more special because I have not seen my father in fifteen year!  It means so much to me that I will get to see him, but it is also a unique opportunity for him to meet the man that I intend to marry.  AND, what is so ironic is that my father has NEVER met any of my boyfriends.  So the first one that he meets is the one I will marry…how cool is that?

Immediately after that he booked our flight to Florida and made it official.  I found myself overwhelmed with emotion.  All of that goodness totally threw me off track from the task at hand…to pack and get on the road for Chicago!

Once I finally got myself together I met my brother and his son at my boyfriend’s house which was a special treat because I had not seen my super cute nephew in so long.  I told him about some mac and cheese that I’d made that he could eat when he went to grandma’s house and he said…”For me?  How nice of you.”   It was one those things that only a four year old could say in a way that makes you want to melt.

From there I hit the road and now I am in one of my favorite cities in the the United States, that also just so happens to be the place where I was born…Chicago!

Now I am fried, and I just got into an argument with my boyfriend because he was looking over my shoulder spell checking me as I wrote this blog.  It only upset me so because I have grown quite fond of this reflective moment that I carve out of my busy days to reflect and share my simple pleasures with the world….if anyone is even reading this. :)

 

Anyhow, its time to get some rest because tomorrow morning I’m off to do another radio interview in the morning followed by two book signings at two different bookstores.  I’m sure the day will make for a juicy reflection tomorrow night.

Speaking of night…have a good one!

November 14, 2008

The BreakThrough BookTour

Filed under: Daily Reflections — monicamariejones @ 3:31 am
Author Monica Marie Jones with The Spirit of the Moment Praise Dance Ministry

Author Monica Marie Jones with The Spirit of the Moment Praise Dance Ministry

I have been meaning to take the time out to explain why I call my book tour, The BreakThrough BookTour.   The truth is that this book tour symbolizes so much more for me than just selling books.

A few years ago I reached a point of my life where I had a break down.  Not necessarily a nervous breakdown, but a breakdown in communication between me and myself which resulted in my engaging in a host of destructive behaviors.  Naturally I practiced very little genuine love for myself.  Everything came to a head about two years ago when I realized that I could not go on living the way that I was. 

That was just the begining of my breakthrough.  I had to break free from depression, low self-esteem, negative self talk, and feelings of abandonment and rejection.  As I moved further away from this negative lifestyle, I moved closer to God. 

BUT, there wasn’t a happy ending just yet, there was still a lot of work to be done.  I tried working a full time job, going to church every Sunday and living the cookie cutter life that people seemed to think is the key to true fulfillment.  That was not the case.

It was not until I truly stepped out on faith, left my full time job, learned to say no, and started to put all of my energy into me and my dream that I finally began to see the light!

On this day next month it will be one year since I took that leap of faith and I have yet to be homeless, hungry, or unhappy.  I feel like I am living my best life ever and no amount of money can bring me the joy that I feel when I wake up every morning knowing that all that I have to do is what I want to do and what I love.

I am…a writer, an author, a poet, and a motivational speaker.  It is my mission to…entertain, inspire, educate, motivate, and add value to the lives of others.  The BreakThrough BookTour is my time to shine, stepping out of the shadows and into the spotlight sharing my testimony through words so that it may speak to and minister to the lives of others!

I WILL be coming to a city near you…just look for the Light!

November 13, 2008

Daily Reflection: Self-Care

Filed under: Daily Reflections — monicamariejones @ 3:26 am
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Author Monica Marie Jones in Vancouver, WA

Author Monica Marie Jones in Vancouver, WA

I have so many different blogs and pages.  Initially I just thought I would cut and paste the same blogs on all of my different pages, but that is so NOT creative, and how dare I not challenge myself as a writer?  I figured the best way to manage all of them would be for each one to have a specific purpose.  So today, I have dedicated my word press blog primarily to my daily reflections.

Wednesday November 12, 2008

On the weekend of my birthday I got an unintentional gift that turned out to be the best gift of all…an elliptical machine.  I was sitting in the car, reading a good book and waiting while my boyfriend helped a friend of ours to move.  She had the elliptical in her basement and didn’t intend to take it with her when she moved.  She bought it used, and no longer needed it, but to me it was like a new toy on Christmas day!

It was the perfect prop in my movement toward self-care.  After being diagnosed with major depressive disorder I learned that one of the major reasons that I continued to suffer was because I did not practice self-care.  I had the option of taking medication to treat it, but I decided to take a holistic approach instead. 

I did my research and learned that there were several things that I could do to improve my well being.  Those things included exercise, sunlight, vitamins, a healthier diet, and affirmations.   I added breathing, prayer, time alone with God, and intentional relaxation techniques to my self-imposed treatment plan.

This morning I got on the elliptical for forty minutes.  The friend that gave it to me recommended that I do forty minutes a day, so I have tried to stick to it.  Especially since I am planning on going on a cruise next month.  Just as I felt my lungs expand and start taking in all of the good oxygen that I needed,  an external factor (second hand smoke) threatened to disrupt the state of bliss that I was in.  Instead of accepting that as my fate I decided to remove myself from that toxic environment and put myself in a place where I could continue to get what I needed for optimal health.

I went outside and took a walk.  Thank God it was not as cold as it had been, but since my blood was already pumping, I’m not sure I would have been able to tell the difference.  I walked hard and fast to release my building frustration.  I found peace when I followed a path that led away from the busy street and down to the calming waters of the Detroit River.

Living by the river is a true blessing because it always brings me peace.  It is like being that much closer to God.

Today I was proud of myself for not settling for less.  I practiced self-care by getting what I needed and it felt so good!

April 9, 2008

Going Together

Filed under: Short Stories — monicamariejones @ 3:54 am
Tags: , ,

Will You Be My Girlfriend?

Yes ~ No ~ Maybe

(Circle One)

 

This was what was scribbled in chicken scratch on the tiny crumpled piece of paper that was passed to me.  It was a note from Gary Morton, the most popular boy in Mrs. Monroe’s third grade class.  I wasn’t quite sure where he wanted me to go so I handed the note to my best friend Trish and asked her what she thought that it meant. “Ooooh girl! This means that he wants you to be his girlfriend!  Tedra and Gary sitting in a tree…K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” 

I didn’t know what to do or say.  I had never had a boyfriend before.  And just what exactly did going with someone entail?  Did I have to walk with him in the halls?  Walk home with him after school?  Sit with him at lunch?…kiss him?    The flood of thoughts made my toes curl and my stomach churn all at once.  Suddenly I became overwhelmed.  

 “Trish, what should I say, I mean circle?”  I asked sincerely. 

“Girl, circle yes!  Every girl in this class wants to go with Gary and he wants to go with you!  You better say yes.” 

I quickly scrawled a shaky circle around the yes, folded the bit of paper as neatly as possible and had Trish hand deliver it to Gary because I knew that she would be discreet about it.  I wasn’t quite ready for everyone to know yet and I was too nervous to face him myself.  I watched him closely as he unfolded the note. He scanned its contents with his slanted eyes and his facial expression transformed from slight curiosity to a coy smirk.  When he turned to look at me I quickly buried my head on my spelling book.

            I avoided my new boyfriend all day.  My avoidance had been successful for most of the day and at this point all that was left was recess.  I was relieved that I had made it this far.  I had almost made it through the whole day without having to face Gary.  I wasn’t ready to face him because I wasn’t sure how people who “go together” were supposed to act toward one anther.  I needed time to go home and think this whole thing through, or at least ask someone who might know.

            I stopped to use the bathroom on the way out to the playground.  I told Trish and our other friends that I would catch up with them so they went on ahead.  As I was crossing the playground to join my girls in a hand clapping game called “Hands up to ‘85” Gary and his boys cut me off at the pass.

            I froze.  Everything around me became silent except for the crunch of gravel beneath the feet of the boys as they encircled me.  I looked around frantically for a point of escape but the cipher that they had formed around me was air tight.  All of the boys that surrounded me were taller and larger than my small frame so all that I could see was the gray sky above me and the gravel that was a darker shade of gray on the ground below me.  This also meant that I was invisible to the outside world ruining my hopes of a heroic rescue from one of my girls or a teacher that was on playground duty.

            I quickly searched my mind for a strategy of escape.  The only thing that I could think of to save myself was the stop, drop, and roll technique that we had recently learned in a lesson about fire safety.  I was already frozen in my tracks so the stop phase of my plan had already been implemented.  Just when I was about to drop and roll, two of the biggest boys in the group grabbed me by my shoulders from behind and locked me in place.  I panicked!  I felt like I was having one of those dreams where you are trying your hardest to scream but nothing will come out.  I felt the scream building in my stomach and rising like fire to the top of my throat.  Just as it was about to spill out of my mouth like hot lava Gary’s extinguished it with a dry, crispy kiss.  I guess lip moisture wasn’t exactly a priority for third grade boys.  As soon as his face left mine the fiery scream broke free followed by tears that were equally as hot.  I bawled like he had hit me on the mouth instead of kissing me on the mouth.  I guess that my fanatical outburst scared the boys because they let go of the death grip that they had on me and took off running. 

            At this point, but all too late, my girls had come to liberate me.  My chest was exaggeratedly he…he…heaving because I had been crying so hard.  I used all of the strength that I had left to explain what had happened to my girls.  I felt weak like I had just come home from battle so I began to swoon.  Trish and my other girl slung my arms around their shoulders and guided me into the principal’s office.

            When the secretary asked me what was wrong I managed to tell her between my dramatic stuttering and hiccups,

“Some, some, b-b-boys were mess, messing with me on the p-p-play…ground.” Then I burst back into tears at the traumatic memory of it.  The secretary had me lay on the bed in the nurse’s office while Trish embellished what had happened including a list of the first and last names of all of the boys that were involved.

            The following week at school an office aide came to our class and called a list of names of students that were to report to Mrs. Eisenhower’s room.  I was excited to see that coincidentally all of my girls including Trish and myself were on the list.  I was equally as horrified to hear that Gary and all of his boys were on the list as well.  A red flag should have been raised in my mind telling me that this situation was directly related to last week’s incident but when you are in the third grade you just don’t pick up on things like that right away.

            For the rest of the school year an office aid or Mrs. Eisenhower herself would come and get us out of class to go to her special room.  We sat in a circle and colored pictures and completed worksheets in a workbook.  All of the assignments followed the same theme.  They talked about the body and not letting grown ups, strangers or any one you weren’t comfortable with touch your private parts.  Back then I found the class to be an exciting opportunity, especially since it got us out of our regular class.

           

          I didn’t pick up on it back then but now I realize that the soft-spoken, patient Mrs. Eisenhower was actually the school social worker, and we were her clients in a therapy group!  Trish must have embellished so much, and I must have been so shaken, that the adults thought that Gary and his boys molested me that day.  If they had only known that they put all of that time and effort in to a crusty kiss between a boy and a girl who were too young to know what it meant to “go together.”

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